Day One of a Blessed Sabbatical

Well, here I sit under the awning of my new home for the next 5 weeks. No air conditioning, no indoor plumbing, nor many modern conveniences of the 21 century - but, I'm happy. I feel very blessed. Kevin and I drove into this PA. valley at 11:30 last night; we were tired, but the precarious 14 mile decent, filled with twists and turns and hairpins curves was enough to keep us very much awake and on our toes. Upon arrival at the Methodist Church camp, finding all my relatives asleep, we decided to set up camp in the morning. Sleeping in the van, we felt kind of like Abraham Lincoln in a toddler bed, with our feet hanging out in the open air. But all in all, it was a good night's sleep.

Thanks again for all your prayers, this a.m. with a bit of tweaking by my engineer father, the pop-up popped and now we're settled in and watching our kids float down the Juniata River on inner tubes - I think I'll be joining them....catch ya later. I'm still "meditating" on "blessed are the Peacemakers - those "son's of GOD""

Also, Kevin's going to throw some pictures on here later...so, stay tuned. Love you all!

"blessed are the pure in heart....
July 19 Walk & Talk

As I sat down with my cup of mostly water-coffee, to pray though my morning Psalms, I read David's declaration:

"Give ear to my prayer

it does not rise from deceitful lips. --------forgive, LORD

though you probe my heart

and examine me at night,

though you test me, you will find nothing;

I have resolved that my mouth will not sin..."

and after David goes on about GOD's protection toward him, and salvation from his enemies, he concludes with...

"...And I, in righteousness,---------my righteousness

will see your face ------------------------is in You, Jesus

When I awake, I will be satisfied -but keep purifying me b/c seeing YOU

with seeing your likeness." --------is something I couldn't bear missing.

I then read my marginal remarks, which I've included (in blue)... sigh

I could just shut my Bible at this point, give up on my intercession, and think "why would GOD even listen to me" It's only 5:30 in the morning and I've already sinned a couple of times, by GOD's holy standards.

(picture Charlie Brown, throwing back his head, with a giant

"Good Grief!" protruding from his open mouth.) But then I remember this is David, my hero - humble worshipper, brave and good shepherd, God-fearing warrior, a man after GOD's own heart, receiver of the awesome covenant of Jesus......, jealous, covetous, lustful adulterer, cold blooded murderer... Oh - So, maybe he resolved that his mouth would not sin, but other parts of him sure did! "Mortal sins" too, to use a term from the Catholic tradition. These are sins that need confession before physical death or one can end up in hell straightaway. As opposed to "venial sins," lesser transgression like little "white lies" or exaggeration or lustful thoughts, for which one is not held as gravely responsible.

OK, SIN is SIN - a lie btw. oneself and a GOD who sees all. Yes, some sins (committed on the outside) have greater ramifications and potential to hurt oneself and other people. But the ultimate result of SIN is false or un-right relationship with JESUS; where there is suppose to be friendship and communion, there is a lie or a barrier. This is why if we want to SEE GOD, HEAR GOD, FEEL GOD, EXPERIENCE GOD in any way, purity of heart is required.

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see GOD"

Heart Purity goes way beyond right speech and actions. "..out of the OVERFLOW of the heart, the mouth speaks.." and Jesus says "anyone who looks at a person lustfully has committed SIN already.." These invisible thoughts & motives never went unseen by Jesus, and the Holy Spirit living inside of us now, is quite aware. David also, I believe, was in touch with this knowledge. He wasn't in denial about his sinfulness, he just knew the merciful heart of God and understood forgiveness ahead of his time. How much more can we be sure:

"On the cross, when Jesus died

the wrath of GOD was satisfied

for all our sins, on HIM were laid

here in the death of Christ, I live."

A couple years ago now, at a Vineyard Conference after a holy time of heart melting worship, I wept over the hopelessness of my dusty condition. I was grieved at the thought that I would never be able to keep from falling into sin; either I would fall into deceptive or unwholesome speech or a myriad of other misdemeanors, OR, I would be doing rather well controlling my tongue and thought life only to sink just as deeply on the other side - judgement of others, self righteousness and pride. One set of sins equally as damaging as the other. I would never be able to walk the line perfectly...... sad.

Then GOD showed me a picture in my mind's eye which I often refer to: I saw myself walking a balance beam (4 inch piece of wood like gymnasts use) with a great chasm below. At first, I was very frightened, for the "fall" was immeasurably deep. Then Jesus showed me how he had put a harness on me and girded me "on belay" (much like a mountain repeller wears). HE had me held fast and safe, HE would keep me on the beam.

If I were a broken record, I would hope to scratch out this message over and over again: our RIGHTEOUSNESS is in CHRIST, our PURITY is dependent upon - "HIM who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before HIS glorious presence without fault..." Jude 1:24

Walk & Talk Questions for Monday, July 19

1. What do you think of when you hear the words "Pure in Heart?"

2. My Bible notes tell me that Purity's "clashing worldly value" is a belief that deception is acceptable. With this contrast in mind, how is a Christian expected to keep themselves "pure?" What do you think this would look like?

3. Is the above standard of purity, easy or difficul for you, personally?

4. How have you looked at different "Sins" ? Do you tend to catagorize one as worse than another?

5. How do you feel, personally, sins attoned for in your life? Is it easy to accept and feel forgiveness and "cleansing." Do you experience a sensation of Purity, as David is announcing in his Ps. ("...though you probe my heart, and examine me at night, (GOD), you will find nothing..")

blessed are the merciful...

July 11 Walk&Talk devotion

Surely GOD asked me to write on the beatitudes so that I might really reflect and think on them, and apply them to MY life. I've needed reminding that spiritual poverty, mourning, meekness, hungering and thirsting after righteousness, and now, mercy... are all blessed conditions of the human soul turning me toward GOD.

"Blessed are the merciful, they will be shown mercy."

(Matthew 5:6)

Do I want to be shown mercy?...I'm desperate for it. Please GOD, don't treat me as my sins deserve.

ps. 103:10-14 calls out my comfort:

"HE (GOD) does not treat us as our sins deserve

or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is HIS love for those who fear HIM,

as far as the east is from the west,

(they never meet - east and west)

so far has HE removed our transgressions from us.

As a father has compassion on his children,

so the LORD has compassion on those who fear HIM;

for HE knows how we are formed.

HE remembers that we are dust...."

In our call to execute "like" merciful behavior, how are we to look at, and respond to. each other? Is there room?...where is the place.. for correction, when we see a sister who could be "doing better," walking "straighter" - from our perspective, "trying harder"..? Hmmm, this is tricky. Coming from someone as pristine as GOD, correction/rebuke is one thing - Pity from HIM, toward me, the dusty one, is welcomed - even longed for. But pity from another fellow dust mite, feels.....well, like judgement.

It's difficult to deliver loving correction without the message perceived being "GOD has mercy on you and so do I, BUT - you're not measuring up and I pity you. The pity, disappointment and judgement sound louder than does the mercy. Speaking pridefully, (this is a confession) from my own wounded heart, pity and mercy seem, in practice/hearing - interchangeable terms. I'm guessing I'm not the only person who doesn't want pity from anyone excepting THE ALMIGHTY.

I mention the word "judgement," which I understand to be an antonym of "mercy." Maybe by looking at the shortcomings of human judgement, we can better understand how we might administer mercy. The most fitting definition, in context, Webster gives is: "to form an opinion or estimate about, to criticize...." The problem with forming an opinion about a person's words or actions is that rarely do we have the whole picture. Our perspective of the situation is colored by our own experiences, values, ideals, etc... We expect others to meet the standards we hold for ourselves, or standards GOD has called US to, without consideration of what GOD has asked of THEM.

Ken Wilson puts it well, in his book Mystically Wired:

"The messy thing about Love, of course,

is its particularity.

We don't love humanity;

we love humans who come in all sorts of

very particular forms-

each one different from all the rest."

Our failure to love, in light of GOD's MERCY, comes from an inability to understand another person to their depths, and see them as only GOD can see them. Each person has their own set of invisible obstacles to overcome, their own set of strengths and weaknesses, their own timetable/ scope and sequence, to use educational terms, for growth and processing. In other words, that other person is NOT us. My mom had about a hundred "old sayings" she liked to throw out all the time, always with the intro "my mom always said...." (I feel I was constantly taught by a grandmother I never knew.) Now my kids say, "Mom, grandma has too many sayings." "Don't judge another person till you've walked a mile in their shoes." And "If you live in a glass house, don't throw stones.." are two which come to mind. The problem is...we never put on the other person's shoes; we couldn't, they would never fit us. And my house is definitely made of glass.

Isaiah tells us...

HE (Jesus) will not judge by what HE sees with HIS eyes,

or decide by what HE hears with HIS ears...(11:4)

In GOD's mercy, HE sees our heart. To act in mercy, we need to see people through GOD's eyes. Merciful behavior, more than anything, necessitates GOD's perspective.

W&T Questions :

1. How do you define MERCY? Is this something you feel you are in need of?

2. How do you understand/recognize GOD "not treating you you as your sins deserve?"

3. Have you experienced merciful treatment from others? How has this felt?

4. Does the term Merciful or Judgemental better describe you? (don't answer this, just think about it)

Not Really a Book Review - THE HELP

I've been telling my 12 year old daughter, who devours books in the summer like a skinny bear coming out of hibernation eats blueberries and fish, "You have to take time to reflect on a story now and then, when it's really good. Ask yourself: How has this book or character, affected, changed or challenged the way I think or feel? What new insights have I learned about myself, other people or the world? How am I different from taking in this story? Is there some conviction, inspiration or revelation I need to act on - for my own maturation and character developement?"

So, recently, I've reflected on a book I just completed, The Help, by Kathryn Stockett. Though her story captivated and entertained me with well developed characters and wonderful use of forshadowing and creative rotation of first person accounts, I am most interested in how the themes and characters affected me, and pleased that the book ended perfectly. (This isn't to say I wasn't hungry for many more pages after I finished the last - Iwas.)

Katheryn Stockett brings each of her three protagonists, in the end, to the freeing point of breaking out of evil, societal molds, patterns and expectations, to begin to pursue who God really made each of them to be. At three different stages of life: Skeeter, young and single with her whole life ahead of her; Aibileen, mature in age and experience but with enough kick left in her to make a difference in the lives of others; and Minny, in the prime of her childbearing years, all realize that the "lines," within which they've been brought up to color, only exist in other's warped minds.

How did the story affect me? I related to it. I felt Skeeter's rejection and awkwardness of not quite fitting in anywhere. This comes, primarily, from inhabiting this earth as an "alien" - a citizen of heaven, but not really feeling immersed in that that angelic world anymore than this dusty one. I especially related to Skeeter's intense lonliness that came from having to keep secrets from the people closest to her, her truest self and her deepest thoughts and convictions remaining unknown. Thank God she had Aibileen. She didn't even really have God. I have two dearest friends, God and Kevin. God understands me to the depths and knows everything, and Kevin knows most and tries to understand me. Both BEING who I really AM and being KNOWN - are life giving. I stongly advocate for a deep friendship with God -through Jesus, and at least one earthly friendship which delves to depths of authenticity.

The social restraints of appropriateness remian upon me, as a pastor's wife, to a much lesser degreee that those evil "rules" of The Help; still, I don't feel totally known, nor understood - except by my loving creator and friend - Jesus. This is my great sorrow and my precious gift. It is also, I would guess, not uncommon.

How did THE HELP inspire and challenge me?
Not unlike the three hopeful characters who fearlessly struggle to crawl out from under the enemy, into truth and light - to pursue their life's purpose, I feel like I, also, need to continue to uncover "lines"/lies in my own mind, and come out from underneath them. I use the word "enemy" above to refer to physical, spiritual, societal and familial detriments - all enemies of gaining freedom and fulfilling purpose. I'm really NOT talking about human beings, in and of themselves....Eph.6:12.

Statements don't often change people's lives; questions do! I takes someone who is willing to ask this questions that Skeeter asked:

Do you ever want to change things?

Blessed are the meek...

July 2 Walk&Talk - reflection on meekness...

Matthew 5:5

"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."

When I think of meekness, images of Jesus come to mind - going before the Sanhedrin, Pilate and enemies who hung Him on a cross, "like a lamb to the slaughter," silent and without making a defense for himself... I also think of a lovely Amish mother from a book, whom I wish I could emulate; she elicited perfect obedience from her children with gentle and quiet "suggestions" such as "hadn't you better set the table." (I don't honestly know if SHE exists) Both of these people COULD wield a tremendous amount of power but instead, seem to utilize Supernatural self control, to refrain and act in meekness.

Meek and mild go together, and like the "poor in spirit" and "those who mourn," meekness seems to highlight humility and laying down defenses. Meekness seems to particularly come into play when an enemy presents itself - a spiritual enemy or a human fleshy one. Just when you've been wronged, attacked and unfairly accused, - if you can channel all you energy, wit and revenge-craving power into self control, holding your tongue and giving up even your rights as a human being... then, we call you MEEK.

And...if you are successful with slipping into the background, practicing meekness, you will inherit the earth. In Ps. 37:5-11, David writes "the land" rather than "the earth." To me, this reward makes more sense and carries more hopeful expectation. I liken "the Land" of a Christian's inheritance to the complete FREEDOM God wants for His kids, not overrun with enemies nor overwrought with fear, anxiety, rage, resentment, bitterness, self pity and the like, but truly FREE. (This is a whole 'nother meditation - and this one's too long already) David teaches on "Meekness" like this

Commit you way to the LORD

Trust in HIM and HE will do this

HE will make your righteousness shine like the dawn.

The justice of your cause like the noon day sun.

Be sill before the LORD and wait patiently for HIM

do not fret when men succeed in their ways.

When they carry out their wicked schemes.

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath.

Do not fret - it leads only to evil.

For evil men will be cut off,

But those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.

A little while, and the wicked will be no more

Though you look for them, they will not be found.

But the meek will inherit the land

And enjoy great peace..."

Commit, trust, be still, wait, don't fret, refrain, turn, hope ENJOY GREAT PEACE. I guess I cannot say I have practiced this enough to be considered and authority, but thankfully, I know someone who has....

W&T Questions for further reflection:

1. Does "MEEK" sound like a strong or weak position to you? Explain..
2. Do you think this work "meekness" characterizes the way you usually act or think?
3. Can you think of a time in you life experience when you chose to exercise meekness? OR a
time in which you maybe should have...?
4. In the above example, did your words /actions OR lack of words and actions result in the
rewarding GREAT PEACE David wrote about?

Hello Ladies - since the first 3 entries were created elsewhere, then copied and pasted into my blogspot, this is the first piece I've actually composed on "ba-gracehouse" - Yea!! - I owe a special thanks to my big sister for helping me thus far.

If you don't have time to read all this, you'll find the W & T "Q"s at the end.

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be
filled..." (Matt.5:6)

The words "righteousness" and "justice" are interchangable in many Torah (or Old Testiment of the Bible) passages. The Hebrew "sedeq" and it's counterpart in the Greek, "dikaiosyne" both hold the meaning: "What is right, justice, the act of doing what is in agreement with God's standards"...hmmmm, God's standard? In Leviticus 11:44, God instructs His people, whom He brought out of Egypt to "Be Holy because I (God) am Holy." This is a pretty steep standard.

I guess that's what Abram/Abraham must have been thinking, shaking with dread, as God introduced to him His covenant. Genesis 15: 8-21 describes how Abram and God "cut covenant" together, but a person would have to possess a "hebrew mindset" to understand the meaning of what takes place in this passage. In my case, not being hebrew myself, I learned the sacred meaning of "cutting covenant" from a Bible teacher named Ray VanderLaan; It sticks with me!

Abram cuts in half, a heifer, a goat, a ram, a dove and a pigeon, and lays the halves opposite one another, with a shallow trench between them, where the blood of the animals then drains down in a stream of solemn significance. Gross, huh? This type of contract was deeply serious and understood by any hebrew living in this time period. Each party, (in this case God and Abram), would then walk through the middle of the "blood-path," and in so doing, promise that they would uphold their part of the bargain - each one declaring "If I should break "covenant" w/ you, you can do this (the halved fate of the bleeding creatures) to me."

God was declaring that He would give Abram the land to possess - no problem, right? He's a rich and powerful dude. Abram's part of the compact, the "be holy..." thing, would be.....ah, a bit of a problem. It's at this revelation that the "thick and dreadful darkness" comes over Abram and God puts him down for a nap. THEN--- God ALONE walks between the peices for both himself and for Abram. God is declaring to Abram, and to us, If you or I break the covenant, MY BLOOD will flow to cover the unfaithfulness. (Nice forshadowing of the cross, on the part of my favorite author!)

Last night a dinner guest was talking about a volume she wants Kevin to look at, which compares texts from the Bible and the Koran. She wonders at how similar they both read. This may be true, but - as lover of a good story, one thing I remember from my Islamic studies in college is that the Koran does not emulate the Bible in its flow of plot from beginning to end. The Bible is truly a story, of a jilted lover, (God), who devises, orchestrates and accomplishes an intricate and strategic plan throughout the history of time, to win back His undeserving, beloved creation - and launch her into eternity with HIM.

"Blessed is she whose sins are covered. (by God's covenant blood)

...whose sin the LORD does not count against her..."

Back to hungering and thirsting for righteousness... Why do you suppose God set the bar so high from the beginning, "holiness" - Yikes! I think, to prove, beyond any doubt, how unatainable is His standard by our own means. We are needy - "dust" So, it's back to humility and recognition of our spiritual poverty. These "blessed are..."s paint a clearer and clearer picture of a person submitted to God with all her heart, the more of them you meditate on.

One of my favorite traits of an enduring character, Miss Anne Shurley of the illustrious Green Gables, is her optimism at dawn. "Every day is a clean slate with no mistakes," her hopeful mantra. She and I share a sorrow that might keep us down, were it not for the truth of this philosophy of "mercies being new every morning." At the end of every day I have to live with the reality that I am dust - and I've screwed up yet again. "Sinless Perfectionism" remaining only a distant unreachable something to sigh and shake your head over, or even laugh at, as you take in a heavy couple of paragraphs of Wayne Grutum's Systematic Theology. But after I come to terms with my failure - I can rejoice, for Righteous is mine through JESUS - there is nothing I can do to deserve it, yet... through faith, it's mine. I DO HUNGER and THIRST for RIGHTEOUSNESS..yes, I do. And I am filled.

Walk and Talk "Q"s for Monday, July 5

Meet us at CCV at 6:59 p.m.

Bring Bug spray and water!

1. Have you ever thought of the Bible as one cohesive "love story" - which follows God's redemptive plot, from beginning to end?

2. Do you more often feel self sufficient, or needy? How about dust, does this describe your sediment (ha ha ha, punny) ? Explain?

3. How, do you believe, we are to "hunger and thirst" for righteousness? What does this look like?

4. How have you experienced God's "righteousness" - ? Do you sense that "clean slate" feeling regularly, or not? Why or why not?

Thanks for reading - hope to see you Monday evening!