Saturday, March 31, 2012

Jesus weeps

Sophie, her little cookie baking guest, (I'll call her Lucy,) and I, all looked up in surprise as lightning flashed through the kitchen yesterday afternoon. We had about 15 seconds to wonder "what was that," when the confirming crash of thunder pealed in the distance. It was raining cats and dogs.

Lucy was playing at our house while her parents visited the OB/GYN with hopeful expectations of hearing a new tiny heartbeat, and beginning the amazing family journey of bringing forth new life. Those hopes were dashed. As the first batch of chocolate chip cookies were placed in the oven, Lucy's parents returned, and with a shake of her head, Mom relayed the painful news.

Rain poured down.

People often talk about the weather when they don't know what to say, and after, "I'm so sorry," this was me,.... silent. But it did feel like the dreary darkened day spoke significance, so I ventured, aloud, a comparison of the mood with the weather. Right away Lucy's dad agreed, "Whenever something terrible happens in our lives, it always rains." "People don't believe us," he added, "but it's true. So when we walked out the the office to this downpour, we weren't surprised."

This reminded me of an experience I had a while back; I shared with my friends.

Sitting in my car, in a coffee shop parking lot, in the dark of predawn, waiting for the rain to die down, I cried to the GOD who loves me. Struggling with depression, I spoke out my sorrow, through tears. "I haven't heard YOUR voice in so long, and YOU know how important that is to me." I implored, "How can I keep going on if we don't communicate. I feel so alone."

At that moment, above the white noise of pounding rain, though soft and quiet and as gentle as it was clear, I heard GOD speak. "I'm here with you now, we are sitting here in your car, having a good cry." I watched the streams of water flow down my windshield like HIS tears washing all around me. HE knows, I thought. HE knows me to the depths. GOD weeps for me, for us.

"That's powerful," replied my grieving friends. I hoped it helped.

As Jesus hung on the cross, it didn't seem trivial for the gospel writers to describe how the sky turned black; surely the weather on that day reflected GOD's mood. And one of my favorite depictions of GOD, "angry" at HIS enemies (and, consequently, OUR enemies) comes from Psalm 18:
The earth trembled and quaked,
and the foundation tofhe mountains shook;
they trembled because HE was angry.
smoke rose from HIS nostrils;
consuming fire came from his mouth,
burning coals blazed out of it.

HE parted the heavens and came down;
dark clouds were under his feet.
HE mounted the cherubim and flew;
HE soared on the wings of the wind.
HE made darkness his covering, his canopy around him-
the dark rain clouds of the sky.

Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced,
the LORD thundered from heaven;
with hailstones and bolts of lightning.
The voice of the MOST HIGH resounded.
HE shot HIS arrows and scattered the enemies,
great bolts of lightning, and routed them.....

He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
HE drew me out of deep waters.
HE rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the LORD was my support.

HE brought me out into a spacious place;
HE rescued me because HE delighted in me..."

I believe in, and LOVE with all my heart, a GOD who doesn't always get HIS way on this earth, nor in what HE created - but IS IN CONTROL. A GOD who steps down and routs the enemies of our soul, while showing HIS terribly awesome power in the heavens, empathizing with the storm HE SEES in our hearts.

I believe HE shows us HIS compassion in this way. "Subjective and coincidental" one may say, about claiming to hear the LORD speak through thunder clouds and rain. When it comes to hearing GOD's voice, believing is seeing. Sometimes a person has to step through C.S. Lewis' spiritual "wardrobe" to experience "Narnia," where the creatures, the trees and even the wind do Aslan's bidding. Next time you wake in the night to driving rain and claps of thunder, take a moment to consider that JESUS weeps.

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